The Commercials, Commercials, Commercials....

Do the fake commercials irritate the hell out of you? Because I'm honestly sick and tired of them...

I'm looking at the TV now watching a magic something-or-other do some magic thing. The magic piece of something that just sits under your couch cushion and magically makes the couch invincible. "It's holding 1,000 lbs!"... So why aren't we making everything out of this shit eh?

If there's some magic device that isn't even as thick as cardboard and can hold up 1,000 lbs. I think I'll just buy a whole bunch to build me a house. If only the Three Little Pigs had this stuff maybe they wouldn't have to all live together in some weak little BRICK house.

Now don't get me wrong.. I can't say it isn't going to help your worn out couch, because I've never used the damn thing. I'm not writing this now to say I'm irritated with the thing. The whole point of this is to rage about the commercials and their fake attempts to make the thing look amazing. It's surprising how they try to do it too. The before and after pictures always get me. The old man hunched in a chair miserable to the magically changed man happy as can be with his neck stretched out like an old turtle reaching for its last meal.

And this commercial tonight isn't the only one that does it either... almost all of the cheap commercials are guilty of it. Like the magic egg flipper that lets you "Flip your egg with ease!". I'm sure it does but the way they showed how we flipped the egg before the easy flippy came along is just idiotic. To be honest if someone is going to somehow CUT THE EGG IN HALF while they are trying to flip it then they probably shouldn't be making your breakfast.. or their own for that point.

How about the magic meatloaf thing that lets you make meatloaf like an expert? The device is pretty good and would help making a meatloaf easier but its pretty bad that when they show the every day Joe making a meatloaf it ends up in little pieces piled on a plate.

Then you come across the MAGICAL TIME WARPS when the commercial is doing one random thing then BAM it comes out perfect as could be.... Like the magic everything chopper that is spitting out the pieces of pepperoni while you hold the pan, then they show the guy talking, then BAM look down at the pizza and every single slice is PERFECTLY spaced uniformly on the uncooked pizza. Pretty damn amazing huh?

Sure you can make a meal ready to cook in less than 1 minute just pull out the super duper chopper and get going... wait.. no.. First you have to mix the pizza dough, kneed it out, stretch it on your pan. Then you have to go get the sauce spread it out on the dough, get the cheese, pepperoni, and any other topping you want, set them on your counter... then start your magic timer. Now all you have to do is chop up the cheese, pepperoni, and veggies and stick it in the oven. I'm sure the last part was pretty quick with the super powered chopper but do they show all the PREPERATION needed to get there? NO.

The point I'm trying to get at is that why do we need all the showy "WOW" "Ohhhh... Ahhhh" magically changed junk to get the point across? If you want to sell me something that makes my couch more firm show me real, factual, undeniable proof of it doing so.